


And Thinking Back, The Last Moment Was The Best One

by Morningstar_Winchester



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Alex and George are like brothers it's cute, Alex isn't a jerk, F/M, George is precious, Other, Some Cursing, TW/Panic attacks, brotherly stuff, yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 13:50:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14058345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morningstar_Winchester/pseuds/Morningstar_Winchester
Summary: And later, Alex would find out, that would be the last encounter he’d have with George O’Malley. And he’d decide that, in all honesty, thinking back and remembering the last moments with each other, him and his “brother”, he was okay with that.





	And Thinking Back, The Last Moment Was The Best One

Alex was, well, screwed. And he was like… Ninety percent sure he was dying. Okay, maybe not ninety percent. Forty-three percent. Forty-three percent sure he was dying. Or maybe he wasn’t dying. Maybe he was already dead. Then again being dead would imply that he wouldn’t be feeling pain. But, again, it wasn’t really pain he was feeling, it was this pressure on his chest and the way his stomach twisted in violent ways he couldn’t quite describe. His mind ticked through endless possibilities. Each one sent jolts down his chest and to his stomach and this warm feeling washed through him before that horrible twisting started up again.

Alex sucked in a breath through his teeth and held it for a moment, listening to the not-so-steady rhythm of his heart. The way it would falter as soon as the breathing stopped, and lapse out. Once he couldn’t hear it anymore, he let the breath out and inhaled with a sharp gasp.

His heart slammed against his chest and a freezing cold feeling went through him, spiraling sharply into his stomach and for a second he missed the warmth. His heart continued to pound rapidly, making up for the short amount of time it had to slow down and just torturing the poor man even more.

Alex felt that pressure on his chest - Or, rather, inside his chest, that’s what it felt like. It felt like something was twisting inside him and it hurt, but at the same time, it didn’t. He wanted to scream and - No, he wouldn’t ever admit this out loud, but - cry and maybe punch something or whatever before he like… Exploded or something. He could already feel warm tears pooling up behind his closed eyelids, which squeezed shut even tighter, desperate not to allow any tears to slip through. Not even if he was alone. No, Alex Karev was not going to start crying in an on-call room just because every part of him was breaking on the inside.

Or at least, that’s what it felt like. Breaking, shattering, twisting. Blankly he wondered if he was going to pass out anytime soon. The thought of passing out made his stomach twist again, yet it brought an odd sense of relief. If he passed out, he couldn’t make the panic any worse. If he passed out, his heart rate would slow considerably and his breathing would go back to normal and when he woke up he would be fine.

Then again there was a chance of falling and hitting his head on the metal bars of the bunk beds or the floor or everything else that could potentially cause a concussion or blunt force trauma or knock him out for a few days and he wouldn't be there for Izzie and…

Oh, he really needed to stop thinking now.

He was considering lying down - If he did there was less of a chance of him falling from passing out and hitting his head on something. And just as he was about to push himself off of the bed to the floor, the door opened. Not too quickly, but not exactly slowly either. He felt the fast pace his heart was beating to stutter for a split second, delivering a violent twist to his stomach that threw him off completely.

Alex cursed under his breath and blinked his eyes open, opening his mouth to snap at whoever it was, not caring enough to see who it was exactly. But he found his throat constricting, not allowing him to utter a single word, and after a second he gave up and buried his head into his hands, trying to control himself. 

“Uh…” George. Of course, it was O’Malley. “Um… Uh.. Found you.” He cleared his throat. “I wanted to tell you.. Uh.. Tell you something, but..” There was a pause. “Y- You know what, I’ll just… Um, I- Are - Are you.. Okay? I mean, I just... “

Alex wanted to laugh but at the same time he wanted to scream. George was a good kid. At least, that’s what Alex thought of him. Sure, he gave him hell a lot of the time. Most of it was just testing him sometimes. Then, a lot of it was, Alex kind of saw George as a brother. That led him to wanting to pick on him repeatedly. That’s what brothers did, right? Besides, Alex found it fun. Watching George get all riled up and annoyed by stuff he said and did. It was satisfying.

Then a part of him, a small part of him was jealous of George. That led to some of the teasing, too. George, after all, was something. He did surgery in an elevator for crying out loud. He had Izzie before Alex did. He was a good surgeon. And not only that but he was kind and helpful and so freaking awkward and sometimes Alex wanted to bash his head into a wall but other times he was grateful George was there because hell, he needed someone like him in his life. And he needed someone to torture endlessly, too. George was perfect for that.

Right now was definitely one of the “wanna-bash-his-head-into-a-wall” moments, though.

“Yeah, O’Malley, I’m  _ great _ .” Sarcasm was something that just came naturally. Alex prided himself on that, if nothing else.

“You… Uh… You don’t… Look okay...” George stammered. There was an awkward pause and Alex took the silence as a chance to listen for his heartbeat again. Nothing. He could still feel it, but it was steady this time. The twisting in his stomach had stopped. But the pressure in his chest was there, and while the twisting stopped, the horrible feeling remained, like something had permanently lodged in his stomach and it wasn’t budging for anything. Alex was beyond annoyed at George for walking in and catching him in the middle of this but he was also very grateful for the distraction.

Ooh, conflicting emotions, perfect.

He felt the bed dip beside him, and inhaled sharply, letting his hands drop as his head turned to George, fixing him with a dark glare. George returned the look steadily, his eyebrows furrowed slightly and eyes narrowed faintly, studying him and trying his best not to look too intimidated under Alex’s death stare.

“What’s… Uh, what’s wrong? Are you in pain, or--?”

“Don’t doctor me, George.” Alex interrupted, rolling his eyes and pulling the corners of his lips up into that cocky smirk he’d mastered so well. George looked like he wanted to roll his eyes as well, but he only stared back, pretty much made of stone. “And no, I’m not in  _ pain _ .”

“That’s good.” George mumbled, still staring at him. “Are you… Uh, having trouble breathing?”

“O’Malley.” Alex deadpanned. “I--”

“Just - Just answer the question, Alex.”

Alex’s annoyed expression melted into a surprised one, raising an eyebrow at the other. He didn’t know whether to be impressed or annoyed that George had pretty much snapped at him. George didn’t really snap at anyone and even Alex knew that if he did, you’ve done something  _ really _ wrong.

Although in this case Alex wasn’t sure he’d done anything wrong, exactly. George was kind of pressing now, and it really wasn’t any of his business.

“No. Happy? No trouble breathing, now would you leave me alone?” Alex grumbled, or, well, tried to grumble, because it was probably more of a pout than anything right then.

“ _ Were _ you having trouble breathing?”

Alex glared at him for a while, and George just stared back, waiting. Eventually, Alex just shrugged, refusing to answer. 

George just continued to stare, looking like he was trying to figure something out, and then his eyebrows pulled together. “Is this about Izzie?”

Alex narrowed his eyes slightly, feeling every part of him tense up. “Oh, for the love of--” 

“I mean, why else would you be having a panic attack in an on-call room?” George continued, frowning slightly now. Alex stared at him blankly for a moment, then his lips curled into a slight sneer.

“Oh, fuck you, O’Malley. It’s not a panic attack.”

George ignored him, like Alex hadn’t even spoke. “I mean, I know she hasn’t woken up yet, but Derek said to give it a little time…”

“It’s not about Izzie!” Alex snapped at him, and George jumped, startled at the outburst but he didn’t look very surprised. Alex glared at him for a moment longer before looking away again, glaring down at his hands. “Or - Maybe it is, I just… I don’t know anymore.”

There was silence for a few seconds before George spoke up again. “She’ll wake up.”

“Yeah?” Alex kept his gaze fixed on his hands, curling them into fists for a moment before stretching his fingers out again. “And what if she doesn’t?”

“Well you can’t…” George trailed off, sounding uncertain. “You can’t think like that. Thinking like that leads to panic attacks in on-call rooms.” Alex scoffed, and George continued, “just… Uh, have a little faith, Alex. Shepherd said the surgery went well, right?”

“That’s what he  _ said _ , yeah,” Alex grumbled skeptically, narrowing his eyes. “But he could have been lying.”

“Lying?” Alex kept his gaze on his hands, but he could picture George’s eyebrows raising slightly in disbelief. “Why would he lie?”

“I don’t know,” Alex gestured with one hand, finally looking at him. “To make us think there’s a chance in hell she could survive this?”

“Derek wouldn’t do that,” George muttered, frowning. “He wouldn’t tell us Izzie had a chance if she didn’t. Hey,” he continued as Alex started to look away, and Alex rolled his eyes but looked back over at him again. “Izzie’s gonna be fine.”

“You hope she’ll be fine.” Alex retorted, eyes narrowing.

“Yeah, well,” George stared back, looking slightly uncertain now. “Hoping she’ll be okay is… Well, uh, better than thinking that she won’t be.”

Alex didn’t say anything else after that, frowning. George did have a point, yeah. Alex had never been an optimist and he wasn’t really sure George was, either, but George was trying to stay positive about it while Alex was just thinking up every bad thing that could happen. George loved Izzie, too. Hell, she was his best friend, and they’d been together at one point too. George was probably just as upset about everything that had been going on, but you didn’t see him on the verge of passing out in an on-call room from a panic attack. At least he was trying to keep it together.

Again,  jealousy sparked up, but it was quickly followed by a warm feeling in his chest. It wasn’t bad or uncomfortable this time. George was also trying to help Alex keep it together, too. 

“Go sit with her,” George advised, and Alex blinked, snapping back into reality just like that. “Talk to her. She’s not awake, but she’ll have a better chance knowing we’re all waiting for her.”

“Yeah.” Alex sighed, nodding slightly and pushing himself to stand. The pressure on his chest was gone, his heart was beating normally again, he could breathe. Izzie was going to wake up. And until she did, he’d be right there at her side. Because that’s all he could do. Wait… And hope.

He paused at the doorway before turning back. George was sitting there staring at the wall with an almost blank expression on his face. Alex hesitated before clearing his throat. “Hey, uh, George…” He trailed off, not knowing what he was going to say.

“Yeah?” George looked back up at him again, raising his eyebrows slightly. Alex hesitated again, narrowing his eyes. Then he remembered what George had said before.

“What did you want to tell me?”

George looked startled for a second, and then his expression changed again, looking uncertain. “Oh, yeah. Well, I’m, uh…” He trailed off, then shook his head. “You - You know what? I’ll, uh, I’ll tell you later. You go ahead.”

“You sure?” Alex took a step back toward the door, eyebrows furrowing slightly. 

“Yeah,” George nodded. “Go to Izzie.”

“Okay.” Alex paused and took another step back, hesitating. If he was going to say it, he had to say it now. So he did. “Thanks, O’Malley.” He’d spoken so quietly that for a second he wasn’t sure that George had heard him, but he caught the small smile on George’s face as he turned to leave, which made him smirk slightly, himself.

And later, Alex would find out, that would be the last encounter he’d have with George O’Malley. And he’d decide that, in all honesty, thinking back and remembering the last moments with each other, him and his “brother”, he was okay with that.


End file.
